Nursing Times
Mark Radcliffe

Mark Radcliffe

'There’s something fishy about pledging allegiance to a logo'

15-May-2012
It began as a simple trip to the pet shop, Fish-R-Us.
'Finding nurses who will speak out is like hunting for Easter eggs'

17-Apr-2012
My daughter stops me: “Dad, Easter is about Jesus dying and being resurrected right?”
'How do the Liberal Democrats sleep at night?'

27-Mar-2012
We have just moved house. Packed everything we own into boxes, labelled them vaguely – “stuff for upstairs” and “maybe the shed” or, in one case, “can’t remember what I put in this one” – waited for the cat to go out and changed houses.
'There is no need for a warning label when it comes to education'

20-Mar-2012
I faced a moral dilemma this week.
'Health promotion is swimming against a tide of greasy kebabs'

13-Mar-2012
There are – and I consider myself an expert in this area – many different ways of not knowing things.
'It’s easier to moonwalk than be a student nurse these days'

6-Mar-2012
My daughter has reached that stage in life when she asks really good questions.
'So who was invited to the PM’s summit? The pop group Steps?'

28-Feb-2012
My daughter, who is 11, has a thing for animals.
'Emotional support for nurses is as vital as doughnuts for the police'

21-Feb-2012
“It’s not like that on CSI or Cagney and Lacey,” was my less than helpful response.
'Like donkey jackets, listening to dissenters has gone out of fashion'

14-Feb-2012
In the 1980s we tended to go on a lot of marches – CND, anti-Apartheid, Support the Miners, anti-racism.
'Don’t allow flippant politics to reduce the NHS to a flea market'

7-Feb-2012
I don’t like arguing.
'We won’t win Brain of Britain as long as protocols deskill us'

31-Jan-2012
My wife is away and I have a cold.
'NHS shouldn’t be safety net for irresponsible cosmetic clinics'

24-Jan-2012
In the recent strong winds the large buddleia tree on our allotment was blown over. I have never “owned” a fallen tree before and, in a strange way, it rather affected me.
'Skateboards will be needed to deliver hourly ward rounds'

17-Jan-2012
Every newspaper I have seen over the past two weeks appears to be giving away a fitness guide, with names such as Think Your Way Fit, Olympic Fitness for the Over-40s and Fifteen Ways to Fit Into Last Year’s Pants. Nursing Times isn’t planning such a supplement, they are too busy doing nursing stuff, so I offer my own personal guide to wellbeing.
'This year’s resolution is to see the power in the little things'

10-Jan-2012
Well I don’t know about you but I am going to try to do a lot more swimming.
''Tis the season to take a stand against the war on nursing'

13-Dec-2011
There are two ways to approach Christmas this year I think.
'You can hand out packets of cornflakes - but not dignity'

6-Dec-2011
Well, I for one am pleased to hear the NHS chief Sir David Nicholson say improving patient dignity is going to be the top priority for the health service next year.
'Total Wipeout’s big red balls could separate the fit from the ill'

29-Nov-2011
Have you seen a television programme called Total Wipeout?
'If only a rub down with rose petals could cure ill health'

22-Nov-2011
We know that the history of medicine is in part a history of brutalism.
'With no youth to moan about we’ll be brought to our pain-free knees'

15-Nov-2011
I’ve heard it said that you know you are getting old when you automatically begin to resent the young.
'Healthcare assistants must work out if the RCN is trick or treating'

8-Nov-2011
A couple of weeks ago I was walking home with friends along the seafront in Brighton.
'Complex emotional intelligence is essential and can be taught'

1-Nov-2011
A friend was reflecting recently on witnessing what she described as inspirational nursing.
'It may confuse bean counters but it’s time to invest in caring'

25-Oct-2011
I was reading an article about a young man with a genetic abnormality recently.
'Like a dodgy meal, the NMC has left a bad taste in my mouth'

18-Oct-2011
Childcare available, my wife and I decide to go out on “a date”.
'Admire students who adapt to the specialist club that is A&E'

11-Oct-2011
The redoubtable 82-year-old lady next door had a fall last week.
'We don’t need time travel to know that PFI was unwise'

4-Oct-2011
I am wondering if I should be worried about neutrinos.
'Has the government been taking notes from the Flat Earth Society?'

20-Sep-2011
I used to think that the Flat Earth Society were being a bit sarcastic.
'Don’t duck the issue – tell us why the NHS should be privatised'

13-Sep-2011
New concerns emerged this week about the privatisation of the NHS.
'Uniform dating takes us back to old days of Carry On films'

6-Sep-2011
My relationship with the television has, much to my wife’s chagrin, changed over the past couple of months.
'I’m surprised the CNO hasn’t been made the biscuit monitor'

30-Aug-2011
I took my daughter to a zoo last week. I’m not comfortable in zoos. I think the animals are looking at me.
'A Californian jet ski will create more waves than a nurses’ strike'

16-Aug-2011
I was in California recently - yes, lovely, thank you.
'Put down the pitchfork – the workers are getting it right'

2-Aug-2011
Don’t you think we all need a holiday? Yes, all of us.
'Forget nudging, the public health strategy doesn’t work'

27-Jul-2011
I took some solace from a news report last week saying that search engines such as Google may be to blame for my failing memory.
'Having a smoke with your client used to feel like good nursing'

19-Jul-2011
You know those conversations you have with friends where you compare mildly embarrassing things you have done, or omissions from your life that may surprise others?
'Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the cannibal'

12-Jul-2011
Have you heard about Flossie the cannibal chicken? If not, you have come to the right place.
'Why does the glass always have to be half empty for nurses?'

4-Jul-2011
If you are wondering why, after the driest spring in decades we have just had the dampest June since the last surprisingly damp June it is because I have a new bike.
'The public sector attack will turn society into an uglier place'

28-Jun-2011
I was reading recently about a group of older Japanese scientists who have volunteered to go and work at the still stricken Fukushima nuclear power plant in a bid to make it safe.
'Leaders without a cause could end up like rogue teachers'

21 June 2011
I had a salutary brush with authority aged 13 when my biology teacher sent me to the headmaster for writing the name of my favourite football team on the side of a textbook about cells.
'From Paltrow to polymaths. When we see talent, why remove it?'

14-Jun-2011
Gwynneth Paltrow is of course very famous. Well known for sobbing at the Oscars and, my wife assures me, for being in “lots of films”.
'A politically free NHS makes more sense than gangsta rap'

7-Jun-2011
Many things bemuse me. The popularity of Cheryl Cole is an obvious example. Or gangsta rap – and I know I’m not the target audience but what is that all about?
'How long can the ‘Dunkirk spirit’ in nursing be endured?'

31-May-2011
I have bought a wetsuit. I’d like to say it makes me look like a rubbery ninja but in reality I look more like a seal with a funny head.
'Giving people drugs they don’t really need won’t get my vote'

17-May-2011
So much for that alternative vote business. What a resounding kicking that took, eh?
'When I grow up I want to make everyone agree with me'

10 May 2011
I remember being asked when I was about 11 what I wanted to do when I grew up.
'Halt the jokes. The assault on nursing needs a serious response'

3-May-2011
The defining condition of nursing since I came into it more than 25 years ago has been this: nurses are held responsible for the care and wellbeing of patients but hold no responsibility for the politics, circumstances or organisation in which the care takes place
'I'm too busy to fill out a survey telling the world how busy I am'

19-Apr-2011
How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? It would take one if there were any light bulbs - but there are no light bulbs, so forget about light bulbs and move on.
Old age reaches us all regardless of squat thrusts and press-ups

12-Apr-2011
So, I’m wandering around the gym toying with the idea of doing some sit-ups, prodding the free weights and eyeing the computerised cross-trainer suspiciously when I notice some young people doing squat thrusts in the corner.
'Admitting to suffering from depression is just not cricket’

5-Apr-2011
I like spring. I love the light and the slightly increased possibility that it may not be cold. Indeed as I’m writing this it is warm outside, the sky is blue and all the young people appear to have thrown away their socks and reached for the flip-flops.
'Today’s long-lived pensioners weren’t raised on doughnuts'

29-Mar-2011
I have a thing for Twirls. Not the activity - I’m not given to insisting people who happen to be in the same room as me look at my choice of trouser from all angles without having to walk around me.
Take a look at the real piggy banks, not nurses’ pensions

22-Mar-2011
OK, there are two rules to writing a column - well, there may be more but let’s assume I didn’t get the memo. First, don’t get personal; it’s tacky, spiteful and unnecessary. Second, as the author Bernice Rubens once said: “Always write in yesterday’s blood.”
'Forget PR – just take notice of those already centre stage'

15-Mar-2011
I have promised myself that over the next 10 years I am going to learn some new skills. Car maintenance for one, as I need to be sure I will not confuse oil with screen wash.
'There’s a reason why nurses don’t drive 4x4s and it’s not cost'

8-Mar-2011
I ‘m trying to get into my local supermarket but appear to be stuck behind a 4x4 Volvo the size of Belgium.
'We must stop throwing staff into an abyss of emotional burnout'

1-Mar-2011
Here are words I never imagined typing but I heard an interesting comment by comedian Jim Davidson the other day.
'Should we call last orders on drunks and traffic cones in A&E?'

22-Feb-2011
I have never been very good with drunks. They are often earnest and inarticulate and, if you are both of those things at the same time, you just sound like John Prescott.
Kebab consumption can be cut with compliments

15-Feb-2011
In the wrong mood on a bad day I can fill my head with the irritations of modern life and the things I do not like.
How many shop assistants does it take to stroke a paperweight?

9-Feb-2011
Went for a day trip with an old friend yesterday. We had a nice lunch, wandered around the shops.
What kind of geniuses make monkeys out of themselves?

1 February 2011
I wish I was good at science. All I remember from my science classes at school is Hilary Swanning fainting when the Biology teacher - a misanthropic woman with big teeth and a lazy eye - dissected a rat.
'Nursing is now unattractive – a bit like David Cassidy'

25 January 2011
I did a workshop with some practice teachers this week.
'We may not unite over table tennis but we should over pay'

20-Jan-2011
I trained as a mental health nurse in the 1980s, which means I am very good at table tennis but I couldn’t put a drip up if you gave me a drip erection kit and a set of instructions.
'How does a generic education prepare nurses for disparate roles?'

18 January 2011
I trained as a mental health nurse in the 1980s, which means I am very good at table tennis but I couldn’t put a drip up if you gave me a drip erection kit and a set of instructions. I am not very good at anatomy and physiology either, although I know an ear when I see one.
'It’s not cheesy or crackers to celebrate public services'

11 January 2011
Enough with the cheese. I have put on about 5lbs over the festive period and most of that is Brie and Stilton. Yes, there is some chocolate and mulled wine in there too but, in the main, it was cheese that did the damage.
What’s on your Christmas list – a higher salary?

11-Dec-2010
What is your position on Christmas? Are you going to spend too much on presents, have another mince pie, maybe a glass of wine or two and get back into the gym after New Year, assuming you can see your feet to tie your unused trainers?
Are the British a nation of Victor Meldrews?

4-Dec-2010
I don’t say this in a judgemental way but cats are pointless. During the war, when people were training dogs to sniff out bombs and dolphins to use the telephone, they tried to get cats to help but cats couldn’t be bothered.
Would you swap your Yuletide log for textbooks?

28-Nov-2010
My daughter wants a gerbil for Christmas. It’s OK, I have done the “gerbils are for life, not just for Christmas” speech.
You can’t lump tattoos together with cataracts

20-Nov-2010
‘Treatments for tattoo removal, male pattern baldness or penile implants are no longer being funded on the NHS. Why they were in the first place is beyond me but there you go.’
The X Factor is not the only thing making people cross

13-Nov-2010
I was involved in a car chase this week. It wasn’t very Starsky & Hutch. No large empty cardboard boxes to bump into, no removal men walking across the road with a giant piece of glass, just an angry man chasing me because I had merged into a single lane in a displeasing manner.
Staying young in your 60s is the new getting old

5-Nov-2010
Good news, fellas: life expectancy for men has improved by almost three years in the last decade, so we can now look forward to living until we’re 78. Granted, given the assault on pensions we might not be able to afford to eat anything for the last 12 years or so, but assuming we can all find work, we will live almost as long as women.
What’s up, doc? Don’t you want to run the show?

29-Oct-2010
“Tennis elbow jab makes it worse,” said the headline, six weeks after I’d had a jab for tennis elbow. “Is it like RSI?” I had asked my doctor. “No such thing as RSI,” he said, “that’s a made up diagnosis”.
Why do some people think it is okay to rage at nurses?

23-Oct-2010
A student nurse was telling me recently about being chased around a desk by an angry visitor. She explained that she didn’t know him and had never spoken to him before.
Can the NHS go from Hell’s Kitchen to MasterChef?

15-Oct-2010
In 2000 food expert and star of TV’s Through the Keyhole Loyd Grossman was appointed to lead a £40m drive to improve the quality of hospital food.
What saving is next? Papier mache hats for the police?

8-Oct-2010
Last week, in an effort to cut costs, the Metropolitan Police endorsed plans to recruit future police from its pool of unpaid volunteers. This means that if you want to join the police force you will first have to work for 18 months for free.
You may be born to nurse or take the scenic route

2-Oct-2010
In the mid 1980s it wasn’t all backcombed hair and too much eyeliner. We had the miners’ strike, Thatcherism and Adam and his chuffin’ Ants. On top of that there wasn’t always much work around, so for some of us finding a “career” was a little bit random.
You’d have to be mad to tell people you’re mentally ill

24-Sep-2010
Last May I officially became a grumpy old man when I wrote a letter to the BBC complaining about Have I Got News For You.
The small details get stuck in the big picture

10-Sep-2010
I was chatting to a friend recently who, after two pints of beer and a long night with a teething baby, was describing himself as a “sap”. He had spent the morning folding up cardboard and cleaning out tiny jars for the recycling and, as he was doing it, he was thinking about the giant air conditioning machines in Las Vegas.
'Becoming a nurse challenges our capacity to know, do, feel and be'

Student Guide
Embarking on a career in nursing is a surefire way to give your life meaning
If you were stuck in a hole, wouldn't you be sad?

5-Sep-2010
Some friends and I once made up a game called “Worst case scenarios”. We would compare our fears and then try to work out how we would cope should they be realised. For me it was waking up and finding I had been transported to the top of Nelson’s Column.
Bedbugs and consultants are both bleeding us dry

28-Aug-2010
We have bedbugs. Annoying, blood sucking, pointless little insects. They’re like bankers but less smug.
Forget healthy eating – order a double McStatin

20-Aug-2010
We like a buy one get one free offer, don’t we? How many times have you bought a pack of four yoghurts knowing full well that all you need is four yoghurts only to pick up another four because they are free? We reason that someone may come round unexpectedly and want a yoghurt. “Cup of tea?” we ask. “Or maybe a yoghurt?”
Health humanities: feared by the bad, loved by the good

13-Aug-2010
I have spent the last two weeks travelling around the Midlands and the north of England getting lost a lot. Who designed Nottingham for example? Three hours on the ring road looking for a postcode that my sat nav didn’t believe in.
If you're 'fat', why not throw away the chocolate bar?

6-Aug-2010
Curmudgeonly. It’s not how I think of myself to be honest. Much as I loathe hippies I suspect I am a bit of a “flowers in my hair” type of guy at heart. Or at least I would be if I had hair. Or flowers.
Let's not go back to being trained like circus seals

30-Jul-2010
The only thing more boring than hearing about a party you didn’t go to is having to look at other people’s holiday snaps: “The pink fleshy one in the thong is Gran… my, she liked the waiters! More tea vicar?”
'From the inside, nursing can look miserable and messy'

23-Jul-2010
We British like a grumble. And, let’s face it, there are times when we have things to grumble about. Football, for example. How rubbish were England in the World Cup? Watching Steven Gerrard wander about the place giving the ball to the opposition at every opportunity was a bit like watching Bambi trying to do a paper round on roller skates.
The good, the bad, and the ridiculously busy

16-Jul-2010
I think that the key to success is balance. It certainly is when standing up or riding a bike and I remain convinced it applies to pretty much everything else too.
Children aspire to be nurses, not bankers

9-Jul-2010
According to a recent survey, which asked young children what they want to be when they grow up, it found they aspire to be teachers, vets or footballers. Some aspire to be firefighters, others pop stars. Nursing came eighth on the list just ahead of archaeologist and dancer.
Are nurses sunbathing while HCAs do the work?

3-Jul-2010
The first healthcare assistant I worked with was called Maria. Maria was tough. She could, if she wanted, lift a car should there be one stopping her from making a bed or bathing an 80 year old patient with advanced dementia.
Why try to understand bad nursing if you can just point the finger?

24-Jun-2010
I can’t grow carrots. I don’t know why. I plant them in the right place at the right time and they are pretty much facing the right way. I water them, feed them, coax them, chivvy them. But nothing.
Let’s take from the poor to give to the rich. Oh wait...

19-Jun-2010
Let’s assume you already work more than your allotted hours, rarely get a lunch break, never get thanked and have to watch - bemused - as Catherine Zeta wotsit gets an MBE for being Welsh and pretty while you get someone else’s wee on your support stockings.
'The arguments around nurse training are getting louder as we get poorer'

11-Jun-2010
So we’re lying in bed reading and listening to Radio 4. We are at that place in life where this constitutes a date.
Why are nurses acting like rude shop assistants?

4-Jun-2010
I walked into a shop; I was the only customer. I was thinking of buying a Kit Kat or asking if they had any hats.
Get ahead, get a hat?

25-May-2010
Let’s be honest, nurses need hats like giraffes need driving gloves.
Tut tut – let’s find some nice convenient scapegoats

25-May-2010
Buried deep beneath the “new politics” love-in last week was a story about the Church of England employing a vicar to support and counsel traumatised BBC staff who are being forced to move to Salford to keep their jobs.
So, you think swimming with sharks is stressful?

13-May-2010
“Dad, do you think it would be stressful if you were singing on Somewhere Over The Rainbow?” My distracted 9 year old asked me.
Oh, to be ruled by bloggers, ice skaters and Lady Gaga

6-May-2010
In a recent poll by Time magazine Iranian politician, Mir-Hossein Mousavi, was rated the most influential person in the world.
Compassion is no harder to measure than rain

1-May-2010
I know her name but it might not be appropriate to write it. She is a charge nurse on a medical ward in the south of England.
Airlines are upset because nature isn't insured

23-Apr-2010
At the time of writing, a cloud of volcanic ash is hovering over Europe making Scotland dusty and preventing air travel.
Money for nothing and your beer for free

15-Apr-2010
Probably the best strike in the world: beer manufacturers in Denmark have gone on strike because their bosses have changed a rule that allowed them to drink as much beer as they liked throughout the working day. Under new regulations workers are now only allowed to drink at lunchtime.
I’m not a grumpy old man, things just irritate me

8-Apr-2010
Every time I go on the M6 it is full to the point of bursting and I have to spend two days parked with a billion other cars near Stoke. No information is provided apart from one of those flashing motorway signs telling me not to go faster than 50 miles per hour because there is a queue between junction 4 and junction 136.
What actually happens in the communications office?

1-Apr-2010
It happened in the late 1990s: someone realised the NHS needed investment and new staff. They looked around, assessed the situation and with a forceful thump on a large table they shouted, “Fetch me more managers! Lots of them. To hell with the cost!”
It’s time to get out the inflatable bananas

26-Mar-2010
Personally, I think we need a party. A really big “bring a bottle or cake” party.
The world gave us Channel Five – people are fed up

19-Mar-2010
I watched an argument between a car driver and a cyclist recently. The cyclist felt the driver had emerged from a side street without due care; the driver felt the cyclist had jumped some traffic lights and should not have been where he was.
The NHS is going the same way as a Swiss ski slope

11-Mar-2010
I have never been to Switzerland but I like to think of it as a neat and tidy country with skiing facilities and interestingly shaped chocolate.
If we tolerate pressure it may lead to another Mid Staffs

2-Mar-2010
I was talking to some second year student nurses this week. I have always thought the second year of a nursing course is the hardest - what with being part university student charged with trying to construct the knowledge and understanding needed to nurse, yet also part working nurse, charged with being increasingly capable and also with fitting in.
Why not televise the pledge with a celebrity audience?

26-Feb-2010
I was listening to a student nurse this week talking about the transformational nature of putting on her nurse’s uniform. To her eternal credit she made it sound like an enchanted frock. She felt the change that came over her was something about joining a collective, a “group of knowers and doers” and joining demanded something more from her.
Who wouldn’t jump at the chance to be a Jedi?

19-Feb-2010
I remember as a child my mum explaining what the national census was. She said, in hushed tones, that it was very important that we filled it in properly or we would all go to prison. “Why are we whispering?” I asked. “Shhh,” she murmered, “it’s the census” - as though no more needed to be said.
Is nursing really easier than being a shop manager?

15-Feb-2010
Have you ever been into a guitar shop? Horrible experience. Staffed by people who love guitars but don’t actually like music. Or people.
Will staring at frogs make us into better nurses?

5-Feb-2010
If there is one thing frogs are well known for it is their ability to build floating foam nests. Nests that look like meringue, are perfectly balanced and protect their young in even the harshest of conditions.
We should be calling for a mental health-only degree

29-Jan-2010
OK, I realise I may be out of touch. I don’t watch soap operas and I thought Lady Gaga was a mouthwash.
Good staff must be helped to shine – not burn out

21-Jan-2010
Most people’s experience of nursing is, essentially, random. They don’t get to choose when they meet you, how busy you are or what you experienced just before coming to them. Ironically, most of the people who meet nurses would probably prefer not to have to.
Hollow political promises will not benefit the NHS

13-Jan-2010
My local toy and sports shop apparently ran out of sledges on the first day of our recent flurry of snow. Yes, they had anticipated the possibility of a winter sales bonanza but sadly the bulk of their sledges were faulty. Or to put it another way - they were skateboards in the wrong boxes. And so children did what they always do and improvised by sliding down hills on dustbin lids, trays or their parents.
The NHS should not foot the bill for alcohol misuse

6-Jan-2010
Looking back on the now distant festive season I can say it was the excess of cheese that most surprises me. Every time someone called in, out came a cheese board. So varied were our cheeses that some of them had fruit in them and one of them was blue. On purpose. I put on half a stone of cheese.
Nurses must not aim their frustrations at students

14-Dec-2009
It’s that time of year when everyone has something wrong with them. Me? My arm hurts. My wife has a clicky knee that appears to prevent her from putting the kettle on. Jamie, Paul and Sophie all have coughs. Bonnie has hiccups. Gail has lost her mobile, which isn’t the same but means I can’t call her to see if anything hurts.
More policing of trusts will not improve standards

2-Dec-2009
Last week saw the Underwater Rugby World Championships. No British teams were taking part, mainly because nobody in Britain plays underwater rugby - at least not on purpose. One or two people quite like the idea of it but they are either drunk or otters. Anyway, we were not missed.
Couple therapy is a waste of valuable NHS money

27-Nov-2009
We visited our allotment yesterday to find that our fish are missing.
An all graduate profession gives nursing skills value

18-Nov-2009
Have I ever told you about my old woodwork teacher? Mr Spooner had the social skills of custard.
We should not see support workers as our enemy

11-Nov-2009
There are, among healthcare workers, a series of popular responses to an economic downturn. Some move to Spain and try to open up a vegetarian restaurant, yoga retreat or drive one of those speedboats that drag inflatable bananas around the bay throwing screaming kids into the sea. A few hunker down and prepare to see out the storm - they have mortgages or children and are rubbish at yoga. One or two get angry with politicians and managers and try to campaign to defend services. But ...
Nursing demands complex emotional intelligence

5-Nov-2009
The Prime Minister’s Commission on the Future of Nursing and Midwifery has been told there needs to be a focus on improving the health and wellbeing of nurses. I’m pretty sure this means we can soon expect sauna facilities, free salads and all the head massaging you can stand.
All staff should unite to stop bullying in the NHS

29-Oct-2009
One in five NHS employees have experienced bullying in the last year, said yet another survey into the difficulties of working in the NHS. Our first reaction to this is to wonder if two in five are too scared to respond honestly to the survey while the other two didn’t hear the question properly.
Protocols must not stop us from being open with patients

23-Oct-2009
I took my mum to the opticians yesterday. I sensed it was time when she mistook the cat for a slipper. Anyway the optician was a very nice man who took a lot of time explaining what he was doing before moving on to offering an overview of cataract surgery.
It’s not the NMC’s role to police university students

15-Oct-2009
Some of you may recall the kerfuffle that rippled through the profession when they decided that nurses should learn in universities rather than hospitals. Some were thrilled that nursing was being acknowledged as a career that required intelligence and the same type of preparation as doctors, dentists and professional geographers. Others felt nursing was being redefined as something to think about rather than do, something that had at its heart “ideas” rather than patients.
We can influence our own health so why wait for magic cures?

6-Oct-2009
Last year, as we stared into the empty cake tin and burped guiltily, researchers told us that our children’s generation would be the first in history to have a lower life expectancy than the preceding generation. The obesity epidemic was such that they were driving themselves to an early grave - via the kebab shop.
Health and safety culture creates unnecessary fears

29-Sep-2009
There was a time I considered myself graceful but last Sunday another slice of ever shrinking self worth peeled itself from me and ran off to attach itself to a ballet dancer or a gymnast, or pretty much anyone who can walk without having to really concentrate.
The debate around public service cuts lacks logic

22-Sep-2009
So, I’m driving to work, near the coast but not so near that the roads were not surrounded by fields and trees. Lovely day, beautiful light and the mistake I made was having the radio on as it threatened to “debate” cuts to public services.
We must tackle poverty in order to address ill health

16-Sep-2009
If you were alive in 1880 and fancied a night in with a pizza and a good film, you would first have to invent film and then import the idea for pizza. Indeed, given the film would probably have been disappointing and the pizza soggy, it probably wouldn’t have been worth it. You might have been better off heading back to the factory and putting in an extra 12 hour shift, earning yourself a handy shilling with which you could buy yourself an ale or, if you were the ambitious type, save ...
Despite fears of job cuts, nursing attracts many students

10-Sep-2009
I don’t like it when my daughter goes back to school. I pretend that I’m excited about her new year group and the thrill of having a new teacher who, by the way, has already been labelled as “strict”, seemingly because she raised her voice when telling one of the boys not to glue his ear to the desk.
The job of basic care should be handed back to nurses

2-Sep-2009
I’d imagine it takes a lot to make Claire Rayner cross but nursing has done it. Not all of it, obviously. But some of it - a small but significant flake of it. And she has that look in her eye, like you’ve come round for tea and abused her hospitality by scoffing all the biscuits before everyone else has even been offered one. It’s a look that might make you melt with shame or at the very least rush out and buy some digestives.
The NHS is envied for its principle of caring for all

26-Aug-2009
I like America. I like its sweeping landscapes and sense of purpose. I know it has its problems. In some places, you are considered cosmopolitan if you marry outside your own family. And it gave the world George W Bush and didn’t listen when the world took him back with the receipt and tried to exchange him for some pyjamas and a soap on a rope.
Doctors don't like medicine's power being challenged

11-Aug-2009
You know you are getting old when the junior doctor approaches you and your first thought is: ‘Ah, the school holidays have started.’ If you are over tired you may ruffle her hair and offer her a lemon Bon Bon.
‘Neutrality’ on assisted suicide is a step forward

31-Jul-2009
I’m OK with uncertainty. When I was younger I didn’t like it, I thought it unhelpful – as it can be when you’re trying to decide whether or not to duck when someone has thrown a brick at you. But as I’ve got older, I have come to admire people who can hold on to uncertainty until all the information is in.
Think tanks are hijacking health service debates

28-Jul-2009
I’ve always thought the only difference between a ‘think tank’ and some people down the pub having a chat is that the people down the pub don’t tend to have their own letterheads.
Secret checks on nurses are untimely and aggressive

16-Jul-2009
A Long time ago, when we were ‘a-courting’, I asked my wife what her perfect job would be.
The tail is still wagging the dog in the health service

8-Jul-2009
It started with a hole in the pavement - quite a big hole, and the paving stones surrounding it weren’t level. So we had - depending on your attitude - either a hazard or the makings of an assault course.
The NHS can’t take much more political silliness

2-Jul-2009
ANOTHER greetings card shop has closed down near where we live. That makes three in the last year. There are only three left now - all nestling suspiciously within 100 yards of each other. The greetings card price wars get more acute.
Our students’ dedication is a credit to the profession

24-Jun-2009
Despite our occasional tendency to romanticise the past, being a student nurse has never been easy. It may have been fun in a ‘Sister reminded me of Stalin with her unwavering discipline, her gulags and the wavy moustache but I learnt a lot polishing that sluice’ sort of way, and we may have found ways to turn the experience into something useful, but that doesn’t mean it was ever easy.
Accuracy is the key element of a public health agenda

17-Jun-2009
Last Saturday in the Daily Mirror, TV presenter and columnist Fiona Phillips revealed she had turned down a government post as public health minister two years ago. Now, while one can only respect Ms Phillips’ decision, you can’t help wondering how close we came to the government to end all governments.
We can change the way we develop and fund drugs

10-Jun-2009
THEY’VE introduced parking permits down our street. It was bound to happen. Often I’d come home from work and there was nowhere to park the car, so I’d have to go back to work and get the train home or drive somewhere else and ask a neighbour to come and get me. They wouldn’t, of course, as this would risk losing a parking place.
Public health messages need a creative approach

2-Jun-2009
Public health, eh? You might think that telling people something is bad for them - telling them repeatedly I mean, and writing it down in case they forget - would result in healthier choices. Cigarettes, alcohol, kebabs or putting your head in a microwave, all of these should, one would think, be stamped out with the right amount of leafleting.
Nursing degrees must be built on communication

27-May-2009
So I’m wandering around a department store with my daughter while her mum tries on linen when I find - and I blame bad signposting near hosiery for this - that we have wandered into what I can only imagine to be the menopausal chiffon section.
‘Take time to appreciate what you have achieved’

21-May-2009
A friend of mine who tends to operate a ‘To Do’ list the size of Kenya now also runs a smaller, less pressing alternative list that she calls the ‘Ta-dah’ list. It’s an inventory of successes or achieved tasks that remind her that she has been constructive - she says it stops her feeling that no matter how hard she works she is getting nowhere.
The NHS has a moral duty not to waste its resources

13-May-2009
I always thought wanting to be a local councillor was just about the oddest decision anyone could make. Spending hours knocking on doors asking people what local issues they are most concerned about.
Technology cannot replace the principles of nursing

8-May-2009
Last week a man in America sent an email simply by thinking the words. No typing, no speaking, no electronic quill, he simply thought some words - which were, incidentally, ‘Go Badgers’ - and it appeared on a website.
Can the NMC support our care delivery ambitions?

29-Apr-2009
It’s not that I don’t like the NMC. That in itself would be petty and irrelevant. I mean I don’t like knife crime, Liverpool Football Club or TV talent shows. Who cares?
‘Is it reasonable for nurses to expect a secure pension?’

22-Apr-2009
‘Who on earth wants to watch a documentary about pensions?’ said my wife, turning over to Canada’s 50 Favourite Shoe Designers and settling down with a notepad, pencil and half a chocolate rabbit.
'When profit motivates care it essentially redefines it'

21-Apr-2009
I recently spent a few days in America and felt it appropriate to report back. First, I can confirm that you can buy a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts for less money than eight mushrooms or even three courgettes, which are not called courgettes in America but rather ‘zucchini’, which I think is Apache for ‘strange food without icing or jam’.
'Providing expert care is what unites all nurses'

8-Apr-2009
Allotments are the new black. We have one, which makes us fashionable - at least until allotments are replaced on the cultural catwalk by solar-powered bicycles.
The NHS is a resource to be protected not plundered

31-Mar-2009
We have more information about staying healthy than any generation before us. We know it is unhealthy to smoke, to work in buildings lined with asbestos or to eat big tins of biscuits.
Nursing tries to patch up problems caused by inequality

24 March 2009
Who can forget those halcyon days of 1997? Britpop, hair, the fuzzy glow of hope spreading across the land. We were going to do away with bad things like fox hunting, health inequalities and Boyzone and encourage more good things like, well like modernisation and smiling.
‘Nutrition is essentially a very simple thing’

3-Mar-2009
Mark Radcliffe on kebabs, Viennese whirls and why nutrition is simply common sense
‘Barcodes will not tackle the underlying problems’

25-Feb-2009
News that some nurses are spending up to 40 hours a month looking for things has certainly given us something to think about. What are you looking for? Equipment? Other nurses? Secret doors to unexplored galaxies?
‘It’s nurses people turn to when they are in pain’

18-Feb-2009
Mark Radcliffe has his fair share of health problems, and learned some unusual lessons along the way
‘Stem cell research offers hope we cannot ignore’

10-Feb-2009
Mark Radcliffe on stem cell research and the eurovision song contest.
Is the recession a bad thing or does it give us a chance to change?

3-Feb-2009
Mark Radciffe considers whether the the recession is a bad thing or it offers a chance to change
‘Individual patient budgets will lead to unresolvable conflict’

27-Jan-2009
The idea of individual patient budgets has been kicking around for a few years now. When it is mentioned most people nod politely before trying to change the subject to something that feels a little more realistic
Football, music, and when a cold is a flu

20-Jan-2009
So I’m chatting to someone I don’t know about music. It’s what we men do if football or the weather is not available and we are forced to talk, although I have on occasion started conversations with both ‘That’s a nice shirt’ and ‘Is your life going in a way that you might have hoped 10 years ago?’, only to realise that the other bloke thought I wanted to marry him.
‘GP's receptionists, ward clerks and administrators set the tone for the care experience’

13-Jan-2009
There are few things in life more annoying than a bad GP receptionist, ward clerks or administrators. Recently I found myself talking to one and asking if a home visit for an elderly patient who had fallen and appeared breathless and confused might be possible and was told: ‘We’re very busy you know, the doctor would like to go home and some of us have baking to do.’
Are nurses and social workers cut from the same cloth?

16-Dec-2008
There may be a long tradition of disliking social workers, but nurses should sympathise with their current plight
‘It is for nurses to decide how to talk to patients’

8-Dec-2008
Communication in health care comes in many forms. Talking, writing, interpretive dance and my own favourite, particularly at handover time, musical theatre.
‘Drunken teenagers need to respect one another’

2-Dec-2008
Before I blamed reality television for most things that were wrong with the western world, I used to blame soap operas.
'Our legislative concerns are strangely skewed’

10-Nov-2008
A recent survey by me found that nobody – with the possible exception of Nick Clegg – can name three members of the Liberal Democrat Party. For those interested in research methodology, I asked eight people, three of whom were under 12 and two of whom had had a drink and were singing ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’.
‘The hospital canteen is an health food nightmare- so where is Jamie Oliver?'

3-Nov-2008
There is really no excuse for vegetable lasagne. It is essentially burnt polystyrene with some soggy courgette hiding under cardboard pasta, which is smothered by melted, fatty cheese and then heated to about 400 degrees so it burns your mouth.
'Any recession hits health services hard and fast'

21-Oct-2008
As the global economy spirals out of control, the BBC might supplement its annual charity drive with Bankers in Need. Lenny Henry might forgo his usual foray to the ravaged hinterland of Namibia and head for the stockbroker belt to report on the harrowing tale of some rich bloke being forced to sell a yacht. Rumour has it that one person who recently had £10bn now only has £5bn. The poor mite.
‘The nature of our health inequalities has changed’

14-Oct-2008
A PCT in Essex is considering offering cash incentives to encourage unhealthy people to visit the GP. Presumably, one problem is deciding who – if they are not visiting the GP in the first place – these people are. Some people who stay away from the GP are healthy and no doubt the last thing the PCT wants to do is pay healthy people.
‘Nurses have stood firm in the face of MMR hysteria’

7-Oct-2008
Different people believe in different things. Take dinosaurs, for example. Some people believe that millions of years ago dinosaurs existed. Others believe that the earth is only 4,000 years old and dinosaurs, along with fossils, geology and history, are some kind of plot to discredit Moses.
‘Why do we rescue banks but not health systems?’

29-Sep-2008
New research from the US suggests that our political views, rather than being the result of carefully accumulated analysis and an expression of our most deeply held values, are born instead of fundamental physiological responses to the world. It seems people who hold traditional right-wing views tend to be more fearful of the world around them. Who’d have guessed?
‘Money is now our only way of expressing regret’

22-Sep-2008
I bought a second hand car last year, and it’s rubbish. My friends said I should have gone for a sensible option. Something Japanese or French with a roof and something called a gasket. But oh no, I wanted a convertible and they cost more so I had to buy an old one.While it went reasonably well for the first three months – coincidentally the same length of time as the warranty – bits started to fall off soon after.
Mark Radcliffe ‘Where you live still has a huge effect on healthcare’

2-Sep-2008
‘I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to Powys.’ You see what I’ve done there? Probably not, unless you’re familiar with Charlene’s 1980s reflection ‘I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me’, a song so lacking in irony you could put it in a suit, make it wave unconvincingly and nominate it for president of the US.
Mark Radcliffe 'Let’s stop pretending we can’t afford cancer drugs'

2-Sep-2008
This hasn’t been much of a summer, has it? It’s been grey and wet; like November but without the fireworks. There has been no need for flip-flops, no swimming in the sea and the only time we have got the lilo out was when we covered it with a blanket, put a saucer of milk on it and watched next door’s surprised-looking cat bouncing back over the garden fence. When it’s raining you make your own entertainment.
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Supporting students is a vital part of a nurse’s job’

2-Sep-2008
We had some friends round for a barbecue last week. We thought we would have some sun but we didn’t. Still, looking like an extra from The Perfect Storm, I braved the elements with some damp matches and a vegetable kebab.
‘The obesity epidemic is not being properly tackled’

26-Aug-2008
We can tell that the public health message about obesity is not getting through. A few years ago friendly health professionals would suggest people cut down on waffles and maybe tried walking to the kitchen rather than hitching a ride on the cat. When it became apparent that obesity rates were rising the message became sterner.
‘Europe’s training model is not the way forward’

18-Aug-2008
I love the Olympics. Who knew it was possible to become so excited about the 70m women’s team archery event? Who knew there were so many different ways to have rowing races?
Mark Radcliffe

12-Aug-2008
‘The NHS was not created to be a big money-spinner’
‘Protocols don’t have to dehumanise healthcare’

6-Aug-2008
You may recall me mentioning my poorly knee once or twice? Too much yoga, football and hopping over the years. So, after far more visits to protocol-laden clinicians than such a simple problem required, a pleasant if tired-looking surgeon took out some meniscus and rearranged some ligament at a pleasant day surgery venue with attached shopping facilities.
‘Let’s have a debate on mental health treatments’

30-Jul-2008
Earlier this month, the British Journal of Psychiatry published an article from 28 psychiatrists that was essentially a call to reassert the ‘authority’ of the science and ideology of medicine in mental health.
‘We are running a massive drug trial on fat children’

18-Jul-2008
American paediatricians are currently recommending wider cholesterol screening for children and more aggressive use of cholesterol-lowering drugs, starting as early as the age of 8.
Mark Radcliffe: 'We should question the power of drug companies'

16-Jul-2008
Why it isn't always easy being NICE
‘We expect the NHS to make everything alright’

16-Jul-2008
Ok, let's pretend we’re on Gardeners’ World for a minute: does anyone know how to get rid of bindweed? We are finally winning the battle against slugs. We tried harsh words but I don’t know if slugs have ears.
'We live in a culture where healthy choices are hard’

18-Jun-2008
Growing stuff is the new rock ’n’ roll. Well, that is what I tell myself as I get all excited about going down to the allotment to reap and sow, and weed and dig. If you want any garlic, red onions, strawberries or bindweed, let me know. Broccoli isn’t going well, tomatoes are a bit slow and I’m not sure I should have bothered with the yams.
‘Men’s attitude to their health needs to change’

4-Jun-2008
On the face of it the division of labour in our house is not gender specific. My wife and I work the same hours and do the same amount of child care. Arguably, that is where our ‘equality’ ends.
‘Cardboard nurses are a credit to the profession’

28-May-2008
Cardboard nurses – say the BBC – are being used to tell visitors and patients to wash their hands before they go on to the wards in hospitals in Lincolnshire. Apparently, the life-size cardboard nurses contain a recorded message that is activated by people walking past.‘Please wash your hands’, it probably says, perhaps adding ‘and do it properly because I’m watching’.
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Choice means business interests replace principles’

21-May-2008
One of the annoying things about getting older is hair growing in your ears. For us boys, ear hair and its annoying cousin, nose hair, are a challenge. I wonder if there are some hair follicles resting just behind the temple that are activated on our 40th birthday just to annoy us, which grow from both ends toward the light. Quickly.
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Stop politicians messing with our health service’

12-May-2008
I can't help feeling a bit sorry for prime minister Gordon Brown. As a child he probably realised early on he was never going to play professional football, nor be the lead singer in a rock band.
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Nurses have the capacity to change the system’

7-May-2008
Have you heard of the CERN experiment? It’s something to do with physics so don’t expect much detail as the only thing I remember from school is that if you swing a Bunsen burner round your head really fast you are quite likely to hit someone with it.
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Are nurses too forgiving of a poor health service?’

22-Apr-2008
So enough about politics, professionalism and the underpinning ethical struggle for the health service: let’s get back to talking about my knee. You’ll remember, of course, that I’m a brave soldier but I had to have an MRI scan anyway.
Mark Radcliffe: 'Whatever happened to the idea of flexible working?’

15-Apr-2008
A recent article in the BMJ expressed concern over the rising number of women doctors and the potentially harmful effect on patient care. The worry is that if too many doctors are women, they may work part-time – what with their babies and the hoovering and shopping – and then where will we be?
Mark Radcliffe: ‘Nurses need to contribute to the embryo bill debate’

8-Apr-2008
Goodness knows one tries to steer clear of some of the more sensitive subjects back here. I rarely talk about anyone’s god for example, although Zeus got a mention once and I received a furious letter from one of his followers suggesting if I didn’t watch my step, Zeus would be cross
Mark Radcliffe

26-Mar-2008
‘Giving good care isn’t just about nurses and doctors’
Mark Radcliffe

26-Mar-2008
‘Protocols and pathways do not guarantee quality care’
Mark Radcliffe

19-Feb-2008
Is tattooing vaccines into the skin the way forward?
Mark Radcliffe: 'Older people actually aren't always that old anymore'

13-Feb-2008
New research tells us that the over-50s are increasingly putting themselves at risk of sexually transmitted infections because they are not using condoms. More than one in ten of the over-50s interviewed admitted not using a condom despite being unaware of their partners’ sexual history.
Mark Radcliffe

29-Jan-2008
‘Nursing qualities make a difference to patient care’
‘Stop the health service being a political football’

10-Jan-2008
Towards the end of last year, while most of us were out shopping, the prime minister gave a speech and said reforms to the public sector will become ‘wider and deeper’ in the coming years.
‘The crisis in public health is really a crisis of culture’

3-Dec-2007
I was once employed to set up health-promotion initiatives in a very poor area.My brief was simple: establish asthma, diabetes, smoking-cessation and healthy-eating clinics for people who like heroin
‘Healthcare is somewhat different from shopping’

26-Nov-2007
We’ve known for a while that health service managers would like the NHS to function the way proper ‘businesses’ like supermarkets do. From a managerial perspective, it lacks a little something – like balloons, for example, and the nice ca-ching noise the cash register makes
‘We have lost faith in those who review public services’

19-Nov-2007
Last week it was announced that there were 17,000 underachieving teachers in England and Wales. They are apparently messing about in class and not paying attention and this is damaging the education of 400,000 children. We would, it appears, be better off if we got rid of them. There are plans to transfer the offending would-be educators into electrical retail. Or pizza delivery. That’ll teach them.
‘There is a gulf between heath and social care’

12-Nov-2007
Some older people have a great time. Take Des O’Connor for example. If he’s not on a sunbed, he’s hosting Countdown or murdering Frank Sinatra songs. Say what you like about Des – he’s happy.
Off the record

5-Nov-2007
Off The Record
‘Society needs nursing in a way it cannot even explain’

5-Nov-2007
THERE was a time when people liked nurses. If a nurse walked down the street, some would wave, one or two may have applauded, many would utter the ‘angel’ word and go about their business, that little bit more secure knowing that kindness walked the earth and it called itself nursing.
Mark Radcliffe: 'Nursing needs to be at the heart of the obesity debate'

29-Oct-2007
Language is a beautiful thing. Always alive, always evolving. The more we see, or think we see, the more words we need. Often that involves creating new words. Many of these are hybrids, drawn from Greek and Latin - for example lipo (Greek) and suction (Latin). Other examples include dysfunction, neuroscience and electrocution.

Nursing TimesMark Radcliffe

Nursing Times
Mark Radcliffe