Mental health nurse blog: Let's talk about sex
- Published: 06 October 2008 01:28
- Author: Simon Daniels
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- Last Updated: 08 October 2008 10:00
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Mental health nurse Simon Daniels' attempts to address his clients' more personal needs did not have quite the desired effect
The other day I made the mistake of talking about sex at a CPA (Care Programme Approach) meeting. I merely asked if anyone had ever thought of buying a sex aid for Edna as she has a very high and unfulfilled sex drive and thinks nothing of grabbing bums, boobs and bits as well as whispering lewd invitations in people's ears.
Well, you'd have thought I'd suggested we approach Channel 4 to pitch an idea about a new reality show called Mental people having sex with a live video feed in every bedroom. I never knew human jaws could fall that far. When the hush- bubble eventually burst I was showered with bile. Words like ridiculous, stupid, inappropriate rained down on me from every angle.
'Who would supervise such an act?' said the Laura Ashley'd CPN.
'Exactly!' piped up a normally mute Advocate.
'Not to mention the hygiene risks.' Interjected another badge-wearing non entity. I was left floundering in a sea of buts. I explained to everyone that her current gigolo was a five-foot fluffy polar bear called Fred with whom she wished to start a family.
The fibrillating student nurse sitting at the back of the room produced a high pitched snort as though her stifled giggles had tried all available escape routes before finally breaking down the door to her nose. She quickly left the room with a hand clasped to her face. After a few moments the preposterous suggestion was forgotten and the subject turned to that old chestnut – medication.
I emerged from the meeting like a teenager who'd confessed to his Dad he was gay, only to be told 'Don't be stupid son. You'll grow out of it. I was gay when I was your age.'
My colleagues laughed at my lively re-enactment. But, when all the titters had dissipated and the tears wiped away we were still left with the thorny problem of Edna's 'needs'. You see, in mental health sexuality and relationships are seldom discussed unless the person is relatively 'normal' with reasonably sustained periods of mental capacity.
If however, (as in Edna's case) they have transient capacity - this is simply out of the question. It's galling to think that someone like Edna (who was happily married for many years before suffering any Bi-polar symptoms at all) should be denied something that is so intrinsically part of her make-up.
In her more lucid moments she often recalls hilarious 'Boris Becker' incidents in stationary cupboards, as well as other assignations with men of all ages and sexual experience. She was by her own admission a shocking flirt, who is now reduced to cavorting with an over-sized cuddly toy.
Edna isn't alone in her ungratified cell. Some of the residents display bisexual and even transsexual tendencies, like Steve who often asks if he can 'wear a skirt for a bit' and then in the next breathe rubs his hands together and says he wants to '**** the **** off' whichever female is within leering distance.
It boggles the mind to think what abuses were perpetrated in some of the more poorly regulated establishments years ago, where sexual favours were the alternative currency for cigarettes and alcohol. When I first started at the unit I was dispensing the resident's night medication when Steve walked in. I gave him his meds and informed him he was due for his weekly enema. He promptly dropped his trousers and pants, spread his legs and braced himself against a nearby wall. I asked what he was doing and he replied 'getting ready for my enema, mate'.
