Nursing with compassion: what can you do?

9 May, 2010

Nursing Times’ resident Happy Nurse Claire Westwood on nursing with compassion.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” - Dalai Lama

The first national batch of nursing students to be tested and tracked on their ability to show compassion will be arriving at Welsh universities this September, it has been reported in the nursing press.

This has led to a lively discussion on the pros and cons of measuring and also the degree to which other staff members should be measured.

Many responses to the article have been angry and negative about their own experiences and acknowledge that measuring students’ attitudes is the tip of the iceberg on this topic.

In the article is stated “Welsh Assembly Government nursing officer Jean White told Nursing Times: “We want nurses to possess personal attributes to do with being kind, compassionate, caring, honest and trustworthy.

“If you look at some of the most common complaints, they’re about a lack of compassion. We want to raise awareness that we value these things.”

What is compassion? Looking at various definitions on the web it can be:

A deep awareness of and sympathy for another’s suffering
The humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it
Understanding without judgment, or
The desire to identify with or sense something of another’s experience; a precursor of caring

So, which of these will be measured, and how?

Many of us will have an idea of what we think is compassionate behaviour so perhaps that is the best place to start.

Most students will learn from their colleague and mentors so of course is it vital that all members of the team display the types of behaviours that are expected from the students. When senior nurses, medical staff and even patients are not compassionate towards each other it is a difficult job for students to remain the ‘icons of compassion’ that is expected.

As some respondents to the article have pointed out – being in a stressful environment is not the best for finding compassion, nor is having senior staff who do not set a good example.

So, what can you do?

“A compassionate person develops an eye for spotting the qualities that make each person special. Even when others are at their lowest ebb, it is possible to help them restore their self-belief by keeping a firm, clear vision of their goodness and specialities. Taking a gently encouraging approach, I must never give up on anyone.” thoughtfortoday.org.uk

Firstly be very clear what compassion means to you. Look for good examples of it in action. Note the people who act with compassion and model what they do.
Act with compassion yourself whether you feel like it or not. Starting to change the way your team interact can start with one person. You do not have to join in with the current dis-compassionate behaviour. You can be different.
Find others who want to change things and form a team, set some goals and take action. Be specific about what you want to see. Even in stressful conditions we can talk to each other with respect.
Be compassionate to yourself first. Give yourself time to relax and time out. Take breaks and have a space where you can get away from it all for a while. Focus on what is good about your workplace and team and give yourself a ‘pat on the back’ for doing things well.
It may be that you do not feel important or that you are not recognised. If this is the case then start to do something yourself – whatever grade you are. You can always give positive feedback to your peers, and thank others for their hard work. It only take a few seconds and can make all the difference.
Get some help and support if you are struggling – contact your union.

About Claire

Claire is a qualified nurse and Master Results Coach. She is a speaker, writer, trainer and coach and is the author of ‘The Happynurses Guide to Creating a Balanced Life’.

For a 30 minute ‘life boost’ coaching session please contact claire@happynurses.co.uk

Readers' comments (12)

Margery Mary Hawkins | 9-May-2010 9:20 am
It is very very difficult to be compassionate when there is a tradition of not even being polite to junior nurses. I still cringe at the memory of hearing (from a senior) "Nurse"!!!!!! followed by a sharp rebuke
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Marjorie Lloyd | 9-May-2010 10:04 am
I fear role modelling will not be the best way to learn as many nurses are under so much pressure to reach targets.
Developing compassion for our colleagues may be the first step though
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Graham Dalton | 9-May-2010 12:19 pm
I think that most students would not learn compassion from their mentors. Compaqssion is an inherent character that needs to be given a chance to be expressed.

We are in a pressured job as has been mentioned. If anyone has worked in a hospice where there is more time for people you will undoubtedly have seen a greater expression of compassion.

If we want new nurses to be compassionate we need to nurture them not bully them. It is a hard task to allow people to develop, but surely that is what we need to do. As Americans are fond of saying, "We need a paradigm shift".
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Peter Goble | 9-May-2010 2:00 pm
In Buddhism (I'm a Buddhist) compassion is described as one of the four Immeasurables. The others are loving-kindness, sympathetic joy and equanimity.

There should be a lesson in that description for those who would seek to measure it, wouldn't you think? Especially as the Dalai Lama (a Buddhist) is often quoted as an 'expert' on compassion.

Compassion is not learned from others, it arises naturally as dismantle the hindrances that have grown up in us through our conditioning. This requires a "paradigm shift" - as an earlier writer mentioned, a "turning-about in the seat of consciousness", an awakening.

What to do? Not your old methods of training, tick-boxes, procedure-sheets, "mission statements", corporate charters and 'employee of the month'.

Learn to meditate, and commit to this practice diligently and intelligently over time, preferably in the supportive company of others, and see what happens. Everything will fall into place - not overnight - but you will taste freedom and peace. Your nursing vocation will be stronger and your healing potential will be greater.

I'm 72, and I'm glad I travelled this path whilst a nurse for 53 years. Am I more compassionate? That's not for me to say, it's nothing to do with "me" is it?

Finally, as in most areas of life: " Anyone who isn't confused, really doesn't understand the situation." - Edward R Murrows

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bob | 9-May-2010 4:31 pm
Like your comment Peter, Nursing -A path with heart!
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Anonymous | 9-May-2010 5:23 pm
I was thinking how environments are important. For example a poor working environment. People become spiritually exhausted and disconnected if a work enivronement (the NHS) and the physical building (most hospitals) is unpleasant and does not help the spirit, rather causes it to go and hide. The work, the culture, the harshness, hardness, they are all repressing the spirit. The culture and beliefs are very Scientific, hard, unloving, male, uncreative.

We need to dream of better environments, better ways of working. We need to dream of being whole people, expressing our creativity and spirit. Not just unthinking robots, unfeeling robots, machines in a factory. We need to dream of valuing ourselves, of joy in our work and world, or love for each other. We need to dream of the beautiful relationships we can create. Good work, good relationships, create a good world. Relationships with each other, compassion for each other, curiosity about each other. Not the warring, cruel, critical attitudes to each other. The constant envy, criticism, reluctance, misery, unforgiving, uncompromising, bullish, donkeyish attitudes.
This is our current script for life and its not going to make a good play. Its going to make a dark, unhappy tale with sad, unhappy endings. Lets imagine another script with beauty, peace, love, joy in all relationships and work. Lets imagine how wonderful the role of the nurse could be. The things we could do to help patients, to help our colleagues. How we could all work together as a creative, loving, team. No territory, no boundaries, no restraints, no egos, no controlling. Just peace, joy, love and kindness as our intent for the world and our relationships.
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Anonymous | 10-May-2010 5:36 pm
Even the buildings are wrong. Absolutely with you on that. Mostly it seems they are bought from the same architect, outfitted by the same interior designer - for places of healing they often don't allow the spirit to rise. The rest is some what sexist new age clap trap.
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Jaq Reeves | 10-May-2010 7:30 pm
I am a Learning Disability Nurse and my training and practice is based on good communication and building up positive relationships up with my service users. My 82 year old Dad is in hospital at the moment and I am horrified at the attitude of Adult nurses on the ward. Apart from one nurse, all ignore him, none say hello or even look in his direction, apart from coming over to deliver a dinner or do his BP. He feels such a non person. Its not lack of time as I am a people watcher and observed they have plenty of time sit stand and chat. I am rather disgusted as I was ridiculed at nursing school for not being a proper nurse, referring to my LD training..... I may not be able to so some clinical tasks but i know my patients and am fully compassionate in my practice.
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Sandra Joyce Powell | 12-May-2010 10:50 am
Hello it will be a uphill struggle to find compassionate nurses today they are only human The problem has occurred because the only people who are allowed to become nurses are those who can pass exams. the most compassionate of people are not necessarily the most academic. also nurses in education and not training have far to much work to do to fulfil the obligations to the universities ie assessments deadlines , pressure of passing exams ,having to do extra work due to the low bursary. Which is paltry ,how would any other person who is not dedicated to care ,even consider working full time and more for six thousand pounds a year. Sorry can not get pound sign on this laptop. it is not rocket science.
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laura collins | 13-May-2010 2:12 am
It would be difficult to have compassion in work if you a stressful working environment. But as nurses we should view for a more positive perception or look in life so that it is easy for us to work in much happy and easy way.
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Sherrie Anne Andrew | 14-May-2010 7:34 am
Being compassion is one criterion that a nurse to have, but it is easy to say than to do.I try to instill the feelings of compassion to my nurses by telling them to imagine that all patients are their mother, father,sister or brother and to put themselves in the patient's shoes.I am also compassionate to my staff needs although I reminded them constantly not to abuse that feeling.....
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Anonymous | 18-May-2010 1:14 pm
The poster dismissing a colleague's valid opinions as 'new age claptrap' on a thread about compassion I think says it all. How on earth can we expect nurses to show compassion to patients if they cannot even show it to one another?!

I believe compassion is actually a quality that can be assessed, whether at recruitment or subsequently. The problem is that the NHS places too great an emphasis on assessing skills rather than behaviours, and is reluctant to go out and learn from the private sector where behavioural modelling and assessments have been commonplace for years.

Above all, we need a culture and strong leadership that is willing to challenge and deal with uncompassionate behaviour with the same vigour as poor clinical practice.
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