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Postnatal depression

Postnatal depression (PND) affects about one in 10 mothers in the UK, and usually develops in the first four to six weeks after childbirth.
Brought to you by NHS Choices

Overview

Introduction

Having a baby is a life-changing experience. Pregnancy and the first year after the birth are periods that many parents find quite stressful. The birth of a baby is an emotional experience and, for many new mothers, feeling tearful and depressed is also common. However, sometimes longer periods of depression, known as postnatal depression (PND), can occur during the first few weeks and months of the baby's life.

PND can have a variety of physical and emotional symptoms, and many women are unaware that they have the condition. It's therefore important for partners, family, friends and healthcare professionals to recognise the signs of PND as early as possible so that the appropriate treatment can be given. Following childbirth there are three different types of depression, which are outlined below.

Baby blues

Baby blues is a common cause of feeling low, and it is the least severe type of PND. It does not usually last very long, starting from around the third day after birth and lasting until around the 10th day. During this time you may feel tearful and irritable, but no medical treatment is needed.

Postnatal depression (PND)

Postnatal depression (PND) affects about one in 10 mothers in the UK, and usually develops in the first four to six weeks after childbirth. However, in some cases it may take several months to develop. If you feel depressed for most of the time, and the feelings do not go away, you may have PND. Your GP will be able to determine whether you have the condition and, if you do, suggest an appropriate course of treatment.

Postnatal psychosis

Postnatal psychosis is a rare but severe form of depression. It develops in about one in 1,000 mothers. Symptoms can include irrational behaviour, confusion and suicidal thoughts. Women with postnatal psychosis often need specialist psychiatric treatment.

Although postnatal depression is more common in women, men can be affected too. As the birth of a new baby can be a stressful time for both parents, some fathers feel unable to cope, or feel that they're not giving their partner all the support she needs. They can also find it difficult to adjust to the big changes and the demands made by a new baby.

Postnatal depression can put a strain on a relationship. This can cause the break up of some relationships, which is why it's important to recognise the symptoms of PND at an early stage and take steps to get treatment.

Myths surrounding PND

PND is often misunderstood and many myths surround the condition. These include:

  • That PND is less severe than other types of depression. In fact, PND is as serious as other types of depression.
  • That PND is entirely caused by hormonal changes. PND is actually caused by many different factors.
  • That PND will go away by itself. Unlike the baby blues, PND can only be resolved with treatment.


PND can be lonely, distressing and frightening, but you should be reassured that it's always treatable. It's very important to understand that having PND doesn't mean that you don't love or care for your baby.

Symptoms

Symptoms of postnatal depression

Postnatal depression can affect different women in different ways. The symptoms can begin soon after the birth and last for months (or in severe cases, for over a year).

The symptoms of PND usually include one or more of the following:

  • low mood for prolonged periods of time (a week or more),
  • feeling irritable for a lot of the time,
  • tearfulness,
  • panic attacks or feeling trapped in your life,
  • difficulty concentrating,
  • lack of motivation,
  • lack of interest in yourself and your new baby,
  • feeling lonely,
  • feeling guilty, rejected, or inadequate,
  • feeling overwhelmed,
  • feeling unable to cope,
  • difficulty sleeping, and
  • physical signs of tension, such as headaches, stomach pains, or blurred vision.


You may also feel constantly tired, have a lack of appetite, and a reduced sex drive. However, these symptoms normally affect most people for a while after childbirth and, on their own, may not mean that you are depressed.

PND can interfere with your day-to-day life. Some women feel unable to look after their baby, and others feel too anxious to leave the house or to keep in touch with friends. Many mothers do not recognise that they have PND, and do not talk to family and friends about how they are really feeling. So it is important for partners, family members, and friends to recognise the signs of PND at an early stage, and to seek professional health advice as soon as possible.

Some women who have PND get thoughts about harming their baby. This is quite common, affecting about half of all women with the condition. You may also have thoughts about harming, or killing, yourself. Thoughts like these do not mean that you are a bad or unfit mother, and it is very rare for either mother or baby to be harmed. However, it is vital that you see your GP if you have these or any other symptoms of PND. Treatment will benefit both your health and the healthy development of your baby, as well as your relationship with your partner, family and friends.

Causes

Causes of postnatal depression

The cause of postnatal depression (PND) is not completely clear. The condition can affect any mother (or father). PND does not usually have a single cause, but is the result of a combination of factors. Depression is often caused by emotional and stressful events, such as moving house, the break-up of a relationship, the death of a relative or having a baby.

In terms of PND, stressful events around the birth can increase your risk of getting the condition. This may include factors such as:

  • depression during the pregnancy,
  • worry and anxiety about the responsibility of having a new baby,
  • a difficult delivery,
  • lack of support at home,
  • relationship worries,
  • money problems,
  • having no close family or friends around you,
  • mental health problems in the past, such as depression or previous postnatal depression, and
  • physical health problems following the birth, such as anaemia or urinary incontinence.

Aside from other factors, having a baby is a life-changing event in itself. It can often be extremely exhausting and a very stressful experience.

Genetics and hormones

As depression tends to run in families, genetics are thought to play a part in the PND, but the exact nature of the link between the condition and genetics is not fully understood. The huge changes in hormone levels that occur during and after pregnancy were once thought to cause PND. However, there is no evidence to suggest that this is the case. It is much more likely that the condition is related to the combination of life changes that occur after childbirth.

Diagnosis

Diagnosing postnatal depression

Your GP should be able to diagnose postnatal depression (PND) by asking you two questions:

  • "During the past month, have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed or hopeless?", and
  • "During the past month, have you often been bothered by taking little or no pleasure in doing things that normally make you happy?"

If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then it is likely you have PND.

Some mothers, especially mothers who do not have a close support network of a partner or relatives to help with the care of their baby, are often reluctant to provide honest answers to these questions.

This is because some worry that a diagnosis of PND will mean they are seen as a bad mother and that there is a chance that their baby will be taken into care.

It should be stressed that this will only happen in the most exceptional of circumstances, as one of the prime goals of treatment of PND is to help you care for and bond with your baby. Even if the symptoms of your PND are so severe that you require treatment at a mental health clinic, specialist 'Mother and Baby' clinics are available.

Sometimes, your GP may do a blood test to make sure that there is not a physical reason for your symptoms, such as an underactive thyroid gland or anaemia. These conditions often occur after having a baby.

Types of depression

If your GP suspects that you have PND, they will want to know about associated symptoms, which will allow them to assess the severity of your PND and decide on the best course of treatment.

They will wish to know if you have:

  • been having disturbed sleep,
  • had problems concentrating or making decisions,
  • low self-confidence,
  • a loss of appetite or alternatively an increased appetite (comfort eating is often a symptom of depression),
  • been feeling anxious,
  • been feeling tired, listless and reluctant to undertake any physical activity,
  • been feeling guilty or self-critical, and
  • been experiencing suicidal thoughts.

If you have three of the above symptoms it is likely you have mild depression. People with mild depression are generally able to carry out normal activities.

If you have five or six of the above symptoms it is likely you have moderate depression. People with moderate depression will have great difficulties carrying out normal activities.

If you have all of the above symptoms it is likely you have severe depression. People with severe depression are unable to function at all, and need help from a dedicated mental health team.

Treatment

Treating postnatal depression

If you think that you have postnatal depression (PND), you should see your GP, midwife or health visitor as soon as possible so that a diagnosis can be made, and an appropriate course of treatment undertaken. If you do have PND, it is important for you and your family to remember that it can sometimes take a long time to fully recover from the condition.

Common treatment methods for PND are detailed below.

Support and advice

The most important step in treating PND is recognising the problem and then taking steps to deal with it. The support and understanding of your partner, family and friends can play a big part in your recovery. However, to benefit from this, it is important for you to talk to those who are close to you and explain how you feel, rather than keeping everything pent-up inside. This can cause tension, particularly with your partner, who may feel that they are being shut out.

The support and advice from social workers, or counsellors, can also be very helpful if you have PND. Ask your health visitor about what services are available in your area. Self-help groups can also provide you with good advice about how to cope with the effects of PND, and you may find it reassuring to meet other women who feel the same as you.

Medication

Medication is sometimes used to treat PND. Antidepressants are often prescribed to treat moderate or severe cases. They work by balancing the mood-altering chemicals in your brain. Antidepressants can help ease symptoms such as low mood, irritability, lack of concentration and sleeplessness, allowing you to function normally and giving you the ability to cope better with your new baby.

A course of antidepressant medicines usually lasts for four to six months. However, if your symptoms improve, the dose may be steadily reduced by your doctor. Antidepressants take two to four weeks to start working, so it is important to keep taking them even if you do not notice an improvement straight away. It is also important to continue taking your medicine for the full length of time recommended by your doctor because if you stop taking it too early, your depression may return.

You should talk to your GP about the type of medicine that is most suitable for you, and any possible side effects that may be caused. If you do experience any side effects from the medicine that you are prescribed, you should tell your GP so that they can alter your dose or change your medicine.

In severe cases of PND, such as postnatal psychosis, where symptoms can include irrational behaviour, hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, tranquillisers may be prescribed as a possible treatment option. However, they are usually only recommended for short-term use.

Between 50% and 70% of women who have moderate to severe PND improve within a few weeks of starting treatment with antidepressants. However, they are not an effective method for everyone.

Antidepressants and breastfeeding

Not enough is known about the possible long-term risks to babies of antidepressants taken by breastfeeding mothers. This is because the normal method of assessing these risks - that is, running large scale clinical trials involving people who have given their consent - would be unethical for children.

We know that antidepressants can pass into breast milk. Therefore, women who are taking antidepressants may wish to discuss feeding options with their GP so that they can make an informed choice.

Many mothers are keen to continue breastfeeding because they feel that it helps them to bond with their child, and boosts their self-esteem and confidence in their maternal abilities. These are important factors in combating the symptoms of PND.

Your GP will be able to provide advice about the benefits and risks of the different feeding methods, but the final decision will be yours to make.

The limited evidence available suggests that the class of antidepressant known as tricyclic antidepressants (TCA) are probably the safest to take while breastfeeding.

TCAs are not suitable for some people, including:

  • people with a history of heart disease,
  • people with epilepsy, and
  • people with severe depression who have frequent suicidal thoughts (this is because an overdose of TCAs can be fatal).

In these circumstances, another type of antidepressant may be prescribed known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). The preferred SSRIs are paroxetine or sertraline because tests have shown that the amounts of these medicines that is found in breast milk is so small that it is unlikely to be harmful.

Counselling

Counselling, or talking treatments, can be useful in treating PND. If your GP feels it may help you, you will be referred to a psychologist or other mental health specialist. There are various different types of counselling, but their availability on the NHS may vary depending where you live. Types of counselling are discussed below.

Cognitive therapy

Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that certain thoughts can 'trigger' mental health problems, such as depression. The therapist will help you to understand how your thoughts can be unhelpful or harmful to your state of mind. Sessions are usually conducted on a weekly basis over several months, and the aim is to help you to change your thought patterns in a way that is more helpful and positive.

Cognitive behavioural therapy

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) combines cognitive therapy and behaviour therapy. Behaviour therapy is about changing any behaviour that is harmful or unhelpful. The aim of CBT is to help you change the way that you think, feel and behave for the better.

Other talking therapies

Other talking therapies include interpersonal therapy and problem solving therapy. Also, trained health visitors sometimes give short counselling sessions over several weeks, and these have been shown to help ease PND.

For those who have moderate PND, talking treatments such as cognitive therapy and CBT have about the same success rate as antidepressants (50-70%). However, talking treatments may not be as effective for people with severe depression because they require a certain level of motivation, and those with severe depression often find it difficult to motivate themselves.

Some research has suggested that a combination of antidepressants and counselling is better than either treatment alone.

Treating severe PND

You may be referred to a mental health team if your PND is severe, or does not respond to treatment. These teams are usually made up of psychologists, psychiatrists, specialist nurses and occupational therapists. They often provide intensive specialist talking treatments, such as cognitive therapy or psychotherapy.

If it is felt that your PND is so severe that you are at risk of harming yourself or your baby, you may be admitted to hospital or referred to a mental health clinic.

If you have support available from your partner or family, it may be recommended that they care for your baby until you are well enough to return home.

If you do not have support available to help you care for your baby, or your mental health team feel that separation from your baby would adversely affect your recovery, it may be recommended that you are transferred to a specialised 'mother and baby' mental health clinic.

Your baby may have to sleep in a separate nursery until you are well enough to look after them. Once your symptoms begin to respond to treatment, your baby will be able to sleep in your room.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) may be advised if you have severe PND. ECT works for severe PND, but is only used when antidepressants and other treatments have not worked.

If ECT is recommended, you will be given a general anaesthetic and medication to relax your muscles. Electrodes are then placed on your head and a pulse of electricity is passed through your brain, which will trigger a fit or seizure (which is why you are given muscle relaxants). Most people have either six or twelve sessions of ECT, normally with two sessions a week.

For most people the treatment is effective in relieving severe depression, but the effect may not be permanent. Nobody is entirely sure how ECT works, but the generally agreed view is that the electricity changes the chemical composition of the brain in such a way as to elevate mood.

Some people experience unpleasant side effects, including headaches and both short-term and long-term memory loss. Because of the risk of memory loss, your memory will be assessed at the end of each ECT session. If it looks like memory loss is occurring, or you experience any other adverse side effects then the ECT sessions will be stopped.

St John's wort

St John's wort is a herbal supplement that some people take for depression. Though there is some evidence may be of benefit in treating mild or moderate depression, its use is not recommended. This is because it is not tested as rigorously as a medicine. Also, the quantity of its active ingredients vary among individual brands and batches, so you cannot be certain what effect it will have.

Taking St John's wort with some other medications - such as anticonvulsants, anticoagulants, antidepressants and the contraceptive pill - can cause serious problems.

You should not use St John's wort if you are breastfeeding as there is not enough evidence that it is safe in this case.

Complications

Complications of postnatal depression

In rare cases, a severe form of depression called postnatal psychosis can develop after childbirth. As well as the symptoms of severe depression, mothers with postnatal psychosis may also have delusions (believing things that are untrue) and hallucinations (seeing things that are not there, or hearing voices), as well as irrational or suicidal thoughts.

As with postnatal depression, women who have postnatal psychosis often do not realise that they are ill. However, it is a serious mental illness thought to be triggered by chemical and hormonal changes in the body that occur after birth, and it is vital that someone with the condition sees their GP as soon as possible because their health, and the health of their baby, may be at risk.

Prevention

Preventing postnatal depression

In order to try to prevent developing postnatal depression (PND), you should inform your GP about any previous periods of depression that you have had, or if you have felt very low or anxious during your pregnancy. This will ensure that your GP is aware of the potential risk of postnatal depression after your baby is born.

You should also speak to your GP if you have had PND in the past and are pregnant, or you are considering having another baby, as there is a risk of you having another episode of PND.

It is difficult to estimate the exact risk as so many factors are involved, such as previous medical history, individual social and psychological circumstances, current interpersonal relationships and any possible complications arising during labour.

It should be stressed that whatever the risk of you having another episode of PND, it is not inevitable. Getting support from your GP, midlife and other healthcare professionals will help reduce that risk.

The following self-help measures can also be useful:

  • get as much rest and relaxation as possible,
  • take some gentle exercise and follow a healthy diet,
  • do not go for long periods without food because low blood sugar levels can make you feel much worse,
  • do not drink too much alcohol because heavy drinking can make you feel worse,
  • eat a healthy, balanced diet,
  • do not try to do everything at once, instead make a list of things to do and set realistic goals,
  • talk about your worries with your partner, close family and friends,
  • contact local support groups, or national helplines for advice and support, and
  • do not despair. PND can affect anyone, and you are not to blame. Remember that most people who have depression make a full recovery.

References

Austin, M. P. & Lumley, J. (2003) Antenatal screening for postnatal depression: a systematic review. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 107, 10-17.

Boyd, R. C., Le, H. N. & Somberg, R. (2005) Review of screening instruments for postpartum depression. Archives of Women's Mental Health, 8, 141-153.

Eberhard-Gran, M., Eskild, A. & Opjordsmoen, S. (2006) Use of psychotropic medications in treating mood disorders during lactation: practical recommendations. CNS Drugs, 20, 187-198.

Gissler, M., Berg, C., Bouvier-Colle, M. H., et al. (2005) Injury deaths, suicides and homicides associated with pregnancy, Finland 1987-2000. European Journal of Public Health, 15, 459-463.

Hendrick, V., Altshuler, L. L. & Suri, R. (1998) Hormonal changes in the postpartum and implications for postpartum depression. Psychosomatics, 39, 93-101.

Lewis, G. & Drife, J. (2004) Why Mothers Die 2000-2002: The Sixth Report of Confidential Enquiries into Maternal Deaths in the United Kingdom. London: CEMACH/Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

NATIONAL COLLABORATING CENTRE FOR MENTAL HEALTH (2007). Antenatal and Postnatal Mental Health - the NICE Guidelines on Clinical Management and Service Guidance

NICE (2003). Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT): Guidance

Robertson, E., Grace, S., Wallington, T., et al. (2004) Antenatal risk factors for postpartum depression: a synthesis of recent literature. General Hospital Psychiatry, 26, 289-295.

SIGN (2002). Postnatal depression and puerperal psychosis - a national clinical guideline

Weissman A.M., Levy B.T., Hartz A.J., Bentler S, Donohue M, Ellingrod V.L. and Wisner KL (2004). Pooled analysis of antidepressant levels in lactating mothers, breast milk, and nursing infants. Am J Psychiatry. 2004 Jun;161(6):1066-78.

Wickberg, B. & Hwang, C. P. (1996) Counselling of postnatal depression: a controlled study on a population based Swedish sample. Journal of Affective Disorders, 39, 209-216.

Whooley M.A., Avins A.L., Miranda J., and Browner WS (1997). Case-finding instruments for depression. Two questions are as good as many. J Gen Intern Med. 1997 Dec;12(12):789-90.

Yoshida K., Smith B. and Kumar R. (1999). Psychotropic drugs in mothers' milk: a comprehensive review of assay methods, pharmacokinetics and of safety of breast-feeding. J Psychopharmacol. 1999;13(1):64-80.

Nice guidelines

Postnatal depression: do you know what to expect?

The advice in the NICE guideline on mental health problems during pregnancy and after giving birth covers:

  • Recognising mental health problems during pregnancy and in the first year after birth.
  • The care and treatment (including drugs and psychological treatments) of women who develop a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the first year after giving birth, and women who have a higher chance of developing a problem at this time.
  • The care and treatment (including drugs and psychological treatments) of women who already had a mental health problem before becoming pregnant.
  • How families and carers may be able to support women with mental health problems and get support for themselves.

It does not specifically look at:

  • The care of women with baby blues in the first few days after giving birth (this is covered in the NICE guideline on postnatal care).
  • The treatment of physical health problems during pregnancy and in the first year after giving birth.
  • The treatment of mental health problems at any time other than when planning a pregnancy, during pregnancy and in the first year after giving birth.

For more information or to download the NICE guidance, go to www.nice.org.uk (links to external site).

Expert view

Diane Nehmé on the questions to ask

We asked Diane Nehmé from The Association for Post-Natal Illness (APNI) what she would want to know if she was diagnosed with postnatal depression .

What is postnatal depression?
Postnatal depression is a condition entirely associated with pregnancy and childbirth. Although it is called depression, there are many differing symptoms, which can range from anxiety and fear to tension, irritability or confusion. PND differs from person to person both in the symptoms and how each person reacts to treatment.

What causes PND?
Nobody knows exactly what causes postnatal depression. Some physicians believe it has its roots in hormonal causes, while other professionals believe it could be due to other changes in the body combined with the stress of having a baby and how your body reacts. For some women, PND begins for no obvious reason.

I don’t feel depressed, so I can’t have PND, can I?
The term 'postnatal depression' can be slightly misleading as depression may not be what you feel. For some women, the main symptom could be anxiety, obsessional thoughts, feelings of being unable to cope, lethargy, or a feeling of being 'manic'.

What have I done? If I hadn’t had the baby, I wouldn’t be feeling like this.
There are many illnesses that may be attached to pregnancy and childbirth and PND is one of them. The crucial thing to remember is that PND is a temporary condition.

Is it because I did something wrong in pregnancy?
No, it’s not. PND isn’t linked to anything you’ve 'done wrong' and you shouldn’t feel guilty. It is not your fault. Some women may have a predisposition to PND. If you have a family history of PND on the maternal side or any previous bouts of depression from any source, then you may be more at risk, but this is not a definitive list.

I’ve been having disturbing thoughts. If I tell my GP, will my baby be taken away?
It's rare for social workers to take a baby into care due to PND these days, although this doesn’t stop it being a real worry for many sufferers. Even in mild cases, postnatal depression can cause enormous anguish and it’s common for anyone who has disturbing thoughts to wonder what will happen to them and their baby if they seek help. Remember, if you go to your GP, you don’t have to disclose what is in your thoughts, only that you are having them.

I had PND after my first baby and now I’m pregnant again. What’s the chance of getting it again?
There are no precise figures for a recurrence but you're more at risk of having PND again if you have had it before. However, the second time around, it's more likely that you and your family will be aware of the symptoms and be able to seek help. (The earlier treatment is started, the earlier you will respond.)

If you had PND with your first baby, extra precautions may be taken from late pregnancy onwards. Your GP may offer you a very low-dosage anti-depressant during the latter stages of pregnancy and then increase the dosage in the weeks and months after the birth. Or you can opt for a wait-and-see approach. In some cases, a course of the hormone progesterone may be offered after your delivery (although its effectiveness is a matter of debate).

Can I still breastfeed if I’m taking antidepressants?
There are some antidepressants that are acceptable for use by breastfeeding women.

Am I going to get better?
Yes, you will as long as the PND is recognised and treated. There may be difficult times and it could be a harder struggle for some people, but PND is temporary.

If you have been diagnosed with postnatal depression:

  • Tell someone how you feel. Many other women have gone through the same experience and they have got better. If you don’t feel able to talk to family and friends, then have a chat with a health worker or GP.
  • Try to look after yourself (this is easier said than done). Accept offers of help from relatives and friends.Try to get enough sleep, eat well and drink lots of water.
  • Don’t be hard on yourself. Having a new baby is hard work and can be stressful.
  • Remember, things will improve. Postnatal depression (PND) is temporary and once it's been diagnosed and steps are taken to treat it, you can get better. The first step is recognising that you need help.

If someone close to you has been diagnosed with postnatal depression:

  • Offer her as much support as possible. Understanding and practical support are a great comfort to women suffering from PND.
  • Don't let her spend too much time alone. Feeling isolated is very stressful for someone with PND.
  • Encourage her to seek help and support. Reassure her that she will get better, and that it will be easier to do when she seeks help.
  • If you're in a relationship with a PND sufferer, remember that she may say hurtful things, but this is because she is ill. Try not to take them as a reflection on your relationship.
  • Practical and emotional support from family members can play an important part to recovery from PND.

Real stories

Louise's story

'With help, there is light at the end of the tunnel'

Louise Hudson, 42, has two children, Jamie, 15 and Alice, 10. Louise developed postnatal depression just before the birth of her second child.

"When I had Jamie, I had a really difficult birth, but despite this setback, I enjoyed the whole experience. I was so glad to be a mum and I loved every minute of it.

"With Alice, it was different. She’s the apple of my eye now and she was a lovely, beautiful baby. Although I recall the whole experience of her birth and her first years of life, I also have the feeling that I don’t want to remember it. When I look back, it’s like I was robbed of those early years.

"My illness started quite late in pregnancy. I was around 34 weeks pregnant and I started suffering from insomnia. I thought it was because the baby was pressing on my bladder and I had to keep going to the lavatory. But I also felt strange in myself; quite detached, like I was there but not involved in what was going on.

"My usual GP was away, so I saw a locum who didn’t really understand. He gave me some temazepam and a page of top tips for getting a good night’s sleep. It didn’t help and even with temazepam, I couldn’t get any sleep.

"My husband and my mother both knew there was something wrong. Mum said that I’d gone into myself, that it was like I wasn’t there. But I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to live. It was like I was in a bubble and I could see everyone, but they couldn’t see me. I knew something was desperately wrong with me but I didn’t know what.

"I went back to the doctor when I was around 37 weeks pregnant and saw my usual GP, who was brilliant. She recognised that I was depressed and prescribed low-dose antidepressants. Although some people worry about taking medication, those antidepressants gave me back my life. It took three weeks for them to kick in, but they took me from the black into the grey. I wasn’t better, but it got me out of the worst depths of depression.

"Throughout this time, I was going through the motions of normal life. The baby was born when Jamie was five, so I was looking after him and the baby. I went on automatic pilot – I did it all, but there was no heart or enjoyment in it. I knew I had a lovely, beautiful baby, but I couldn’t enjoy her.

"My GP had increased the dosage of antidepressants after the baby was born, but no one knew how bad I was feeling. I can’t talk now about the thoughts I was having, but they were so frightening. I later learned that a lot of women with postnatal illness have very scary thoughts. I thought I was going mad. I was having these thoughts, I couldn’t sleep or eat, I was depressed, tearful and having awful panic attacks.

"Everyone with postnatal illness has different symptoms and my main symptom was anxiety. I worried about everything and I just couldn’t break the cycle. When Alice was around five-months-old, I started seeing a psychotherapist who helped me understand some of the reasons why I was so anxious. At the same time I began talking to a counsellor through The Association for Post-Natal Illness (links to external site). With their help, I began to recover very slowly and gradually.

"It took two to three years for me to feel myself again. There were good days and bad days, and sometimes it felt like I was going backwards. It was easy to do too much and it would set me back again. Some women get better a lot quicker than I did, but this illness is different with everyone.

"I was lucky in some ways. I had a fantastic GP who knew about postnatal depression and picked up on it early on and I was also lucky that I found a brilliant counsellor. And I did get better. I’ve been myself for the last seven years.

"I don’t know if it would happen again if I had another baby – I know my chances of getting it again are higher and that thought is a terrifying one. But it’s important to understand that although this is a serious illness, you do get better. It takes time but, with help, there is light at the end of the tunnel."

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This article was originally published by NHS Choices

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