‘She walks off to the loo, me screaming behind her because she has just pulled out her catheter’
A friend wrote me a story a while ago to sum up her placement earlier this year, and I really liked the story, so with her permission I would like to share it.
There are six people in one bay: A lady at the end of the bay asks for a commode, so you bring it to her. She has left-sided weakness, so you kind of have to throw her onto the toilet, WWF-style.
Then the next old lady is blind, so she asks for a commode because she’s heard the first lady asking for one.
The next patient is deaf, but she sees the two commodes being brought out and starts yelling at the top of her voice that she needs to go to the toilet. This lady’s a slow walker so the lady opposite, who has carcenoma of the lungs, thinks that she will make a break for the loo before we get there.
She’s finished by the time we get there bu has an asthma attack from all the exertion. So I put the deaf woman on the toilet, and she loudly serendades me about ‘Fernando the Spanish Bullfighter’, and I go and get the lung lady on a nebulizer.
Meanwhile another lady informs me that she will need to use the loo after the singing one gets off. However, this lady is new to the ward so I don’t know her care needs yet. She walks off to the loo, me screaming behind her because she has just pulled out her catheter without even realising.
This leaves just one more lady left on the bay, who just sits there quietly and wees herself.