Just over a week into my Wii Fit regime and I’m having mixed results. It only took three days for me to open the box – I was determined to set it all up unaided, but fell at the first hurdle.
I followed the instructions to the letter, and everything went to plan until I tried to get started. I pointed the remote at the screen, but nothing happened. No little hand appeared to press the OK button.
Humiliatingly I had to call my friend Victoria’s long-suffering boyfriend for telephone support. Even more humiliatingly James asked if I’d checked the batteries in the remote. I hadn’t, I replied in what I suspect was a frosty tone. It was like IT support asking if I’d turned the computer on – so patronising. ‘I’ll double-check and call you back,’ I said.
The batteries were flat. I didn’t call back.
Still, at least I could get started. The first body test was disappointing to say the least. My weight and BMI were in the normal range, but Wii still decreed that I must lose 10lb (yeah, right that'll happen).
More disconcertingly, my Wii age was nine years above my biological age. Frankly I'd been expecting it to recognise that in Wii world I was barely out of adolescence – but I was confident I’d soon improve with all the activities on offer.
The next day I was raring to go. I did some yoga and my digital trainer told me I was doing well. I’ve done yoga twice a week for years, but my teacher doesn’t go in for praise, so I was like an excited puppy – I almost called my parents to give them the good news.
After dabbling in a step class, hula hoops and running I went for another body test. My Wii age had gone up – I was now well into my 70s. My puppy slunk away into the corner, defeated.
On day 3 realised I made a simple but elementary mistake in the ‘standing still’ part of the body test. I tried to get my centre of gravity to follow a moving square on the screen - the square moved to test whether you could remain still while watching a moving object.
Since that little epiphany, my Wii age has dropped to nine years below my biological age, but I’ve decided not to take an IQ test for the time being.
I've had an enforced break this week, having twanged a muscle in my calf while walking (yes, walking), which has resulted in me having to rely on a crutch to get around. Fortunately it seems to be resolving itself fairly well, so I should be ready to gently get myself back on track next week.