Nurses are lazy, sickie-taking slackers who are about to bring down the NHS. There, we said it.
How do you have time to read this column? Shouldn’t you be at work? Of course, you’ve pulled a sickie. You’ve probably got your feet up, Jeremy Kyle on the telly, and Beyond the Bedpan on your laptop.
Well we hope you’re proud of yourself, slacking off while your hard-working colleagues suffer the consequences of your laziness.
We’ve got news for you. You are costing the NHS £1.7bn every year. Things are going to get pretty tight as the effects of the recession kick in and the health service is forced to tighten its belt. You know how politicians keep banging on about ‘efficiency’? They are talking about you.
Curling up with a tub of ice cream while your trust foots the bill is not considered efficient. Carry on, and you’ll have Dave Cameron, Gordon Brown or that other bloke dragging you back to work by the ear. Do we make ourselves clear?
This may seem harsh, but the figures don’t lie, and we have it on good authority that NHS staff sickness is 50% higher than private sector workers.
You’re letting yourselves down, you’re letting the NHS down and, worst of all, you’re letting Beyond the Bedpan down.
Yeah we know being a nurse is more stressful and physically demanding than some private sector jobs.
And we also know that everything we’ve said so far is a load of rubbish, that the NHS ‘sicknote culture’ is a myth, and that nurses are in fact struggling into work while ill out of loyalty to patients and colleagues. Still, it’s no excuse.