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What’s stopping you? Being More Confident

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’This book will resonate with anyone, from student to senior manager, who doubts their ability or worries that they are not capable or could achieve more with the opportunities that have been presented to them.’

Title: What’s stopping you? Being More Confident

Author: Robert Kelsey

Publisher: Capstone Publishing Ltd

Reviewer: Rebecca Myatt

What was it like?

What’s stopping you? Being more confident is a small book full of big ideas. It explains how low self-esteem is brought about by negative experiences and how our beliefs and responses following these create a self-fulfilling prophecy, which can lead to poor confidence. The author describes how once this pattern has been recognised we can begin to change our thoughts and behaviour patterns. Self-esteem is regarded as a journey rather than a fixed trait so that recognising where we are and how we respond to being in this place are imperative to enable us to reach a more positive destination.

Starting with the ”alchemy of confidence” the author describes how optimism, resilience, experience and trust help us to develop the skills to master challenges as they arise. “Achievement” considers how our identity, values and principles can help with reaching goals. The section on ”situations” offers strategies for dealing with awkward encounters, which can trigger emotional responses such as shyness. Finally, “barriers” describes how issues such as prejudice, procrastination, stress, anxiety and depression affect us and can be overcome.

Robert Kelsey describes this as a ”book from the heart” and when reading this you can relate to his physical and intellectual insecurities. In describing how these have been overcome using research and anecdotes the reader gains insight into their own problems and how sees how these can be addressed

What were the highlights?

The easy to read style combined with personal experience gives the reader a sense that they are not alone with self-doubt or low self-esteem. Writing from this perspective gives the author a degree of credibility often lacking in self-help books.

As well as personal opinion though, there are numerous references to experts in the field and there is a useful summary of these at the end as well as a bibliography if your curiosity has be piqued and further reading is required.

Strengths & weaknesses:

Robert Kelsey has a great knack of sharing his own experiences in a light hearted manner that encourages empathy and makes the book enjoyable and easy to read. Each fact-packed chapter has a useful summary box and at the end of the book there is a short seven stage route to confidence, which encapsulates the key themes. It is a well written, easily accessible book, which relies on myriad anecdotes and experiences from the authors own life that has been full but rather chaotic at times.

Who should read it?

This book will resonate with anyone, from student to senior manager, who doubts their ability or worries that they are not capable or could achieve more with the opportunities that have been presented to them.

what's stopping you

what’s stopping you

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