Are you having sex on your breaks? Beyond the Bedpan prefers a coffee and a crossword, but we think we’re alone.
This week Beyond the Bedpan was shocked to read the allegations made by a former director of nursing, who accused bosses at Milton Keynes Hospital of covering up scandals like bodies being left on the morgue floor, surgical errors and staff posting inappropriate photos onto Facebook. Again.
But never mind that, the bit that caught Beyond the Bedpan’s eye was the complaint that staff had been caught having sex in the pharmacy. Having sex. In the pharmacy.
Now we’re as open minded as the next open minded nursing column, we’ve seen Grey’s Anatomy. We know what goes on. But this was during working hours. Have these people no sense of decency? Or is it just good time management? If you’re a busy nurse working all hours of the day and night does it make sense to sneak a quickie into your fag break? Or should staff be focusing more on the job in hand?
We thought Nurse Jackie was a comedy drama, but it seems not. Either it’s actually a drama documentary or the MK staff are seeing it as some kind of training programme. We hope they aren’t following Jackie’s lead in using the pharmacist as an illegitimate source of prescription medication. That would be wronger than wrong.
One reader innocently asked “Were the employees caught having sex on their breaks? If so no one suffered…it happens regularly in hospitals.” Oh really? So now we all know what you get up to when you offer to “put the kettle on”. Are they right? Are doctors and nurses up to no good up and down the country?
And, forgive our wandering gutter mind, then we began to wonder is a pharmacy really the best place to get down and dirty with a like-minded colleague? Or was it just the easy access to oral contraceptives that proved too much of a lure? We’re sure there are better places. A nice warm linen closet? An x ray machine? Underneath the desk at the nurse’s station?
Maybe we’re just being naive. If anyone wants us we’ll be in the stationery cupboard.