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'I don’t think my mentor likes me'


Can you advise this student nurse?

“My mentor and I have always had a cordial relationship, but sometimes I get the feeling that she doesn’t like me as much as she likes other students.

“I always try to be respectful, but she just seems cold. I want to be able to learn as much as I can from her and do my best.

“She has never done anything obvious to show that she doesn’t like me, but I feel that our relationship could be better. Before she agreed to mentor me, our relationship was warmer but recently I feel that she has pulled away.

“Should I approach her with this problem? Any advice on how I can restore our rapport would be much appreciated.”

Please use the comments section below to share your advice


Readers' comments (4)

  • Hi, oh dear. Firstly you probably Havnt done anything to cause this but the only way of resolving it is to discuss it. Maybe this mentor has issues herself that might be causing them to appear cold.
    If it was me I would ask to speak to them and firstly ask them for some feedback. Always start on a positive say what you are enjoying. Then mention you’ve felt them be a bit distant and is there anything you have done for them to be this way?
    I think this will hopefully make them realise how they have made you feel and should resolve things. It’s better to communicate rather than sit on it and worry.

    Good luck x

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  • from my experience, you just have to keep your head held high and get on with it. I tried to raise a concern before and it got me nowhere. good luck

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  • I would focus on keeping the relationship professional, as long as you are meeting and achieving your learning objectives and competencies that’s all well and good. Always remember you can’t get on with everybody but you have to find mutual ways of working. Good luck

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  • It will be wise to discuss the matter with the mentor concerned. At least you have cleared the "air" instead of guessing. Once this is done there is no need for you to be concerned as you have brought it up if ever she behaves the same way again. But I believe she will not put a deaf ear to such issues brought up. As suggested, focus on keeping the relationship professional, meeting & achieving your learning objectives & competencies.

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