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'Is it possible to have a long-distance relationship while training to be a nurse?'


Can you advise this student nurse?

”I just started uni this September which means my relationship is now long distance. My boyfriend’s really supportive and we’ve been together for a year – but as the term goes on long distance is already getting harder and harder.

”I feel like it’s beginning to put a strain on our relationship already.

”With lectures, essays, extra reading, and (soon) placements – plus trying to make new friends and get adjusted to my new life here - I just don’t have the time to put into our relationship that I used to have. Sometimes I don’t have space in my day to talk on the phone and I can’t visit every weekend like he expects me to. He is trying to be supportive, but he keeps telling me how he feels like he’s not a priority in my life. I feel like he doesn’t believe me when I tell him how hard studying to be a nurse is and how busy I am.

”I don’t want to let my choice to be a nurse destroy my relationship with someone I really love, but I also don’t want to spend so much time on the phone and in the car that I miss out on experiences at uni.

“How do I balance my relationship and this new phase of my life?”

Please use the comments section below to share your advice

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Readers' comments (4)

  • You say that you he wants you to visit every weekend, could he not come to you sometimes? It takes the effort from both sides to make it work, not just yours!

    I think in all honestly it is going to be tough. Massive sacrifices will have to be made in order for the relationship to work and I think long distance relationships *can* work through a nursing degree but it takes that extra level of understanding from both sides - from him with regards to your career and from you with regards to understanding that there's now a huge space where you were, and communicating your feelings to each other honestly and effectively. He may just need time to adjust.

    Hope it all works out for you, and good luck!

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  • Hate to say it but sounds like he's not being very supportive and your only 1 month in. It take both parties to be willing to put in the effort and he has to understand how important this is for you, speaking from experience do not let someone else influence your decisions, opportunities like this don't come around very often and if you choose to leave you might not be able to get back in to do it at a later date.

    Sorry to be the party pooper but I wouldn't give it up for any man, did that before and took 10 years to get back into nursing, if he really loves you he will support you, not control you.

    Good luck!!

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  • Hi I am a 3rd year student nurse; and single mother! Met my partner at the beginning of year 1 and by Xmas found out he had to go and work in belfast (I live in essex). So from January 2015 he has lived there and we've managed to maintain a long distance relationship. We tried and we're doing well seeing each other every 2 weeks, sometimes circumstances meant going 4 weeks without seeing each other.
    I did alot of research on how to make it work; finding that Skype is a life saver, we text throughout the day and have a set time in the evening when we check in with one another; and most nights a telephone call before bed.
    It's hard having a long distance relationship but it takes 2 and it's all about getting the right balance. Try and plan ahead so you both know when you are going to see each other/when your going to skype/when your going to talk on the phone.
    Me and my partner send loads of pics of random stuff so we both feel as involved as possible in each others life's. Were really close although we don't see each other often and he's like my best friend.
    Long distance relationships are very testing and very hard and the only way it's going to work is if you learn to communicate with each other well and understand each other. It will take some adapting to and I hope that it works out for you. It takes alot of understanding one another and working together to minimise negative feelings. Never stop talying about how you feel if somethings bugging you and try not to argue and get defensive be calm and listen to each other, reassure each other every day.
    I wish you all the best

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  • Plenty of fish in the sea (but only one goldfish). if it works if it doesn't - ask yourself whether it was mean to be?

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