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'Is it wrong to start a relationship with my mentor?'

  • 10 Comments

Do you have any advice for this student nurse?

“My mentor and I got on from the second we met and although nothing has happened, I have very strong feelings and think they feel the same.

“We’re a similar age but I’m not sure where I stand morally if we started a relationship. I have 5 weeks left of the placement and hate to think that I won’t see them again.

“Is it wrong to ask them out?”

Anonymous

 

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  • 10 Comments

Readers' comments (10)

  • Don't say or do anything until your last shift with them. Then if they say no it won't be awkward. Also, if you start anything before it may seem unprofessional and claims of bias in your assessment may arise.

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  • Personally I don't see the harm, especially as you only have 5 weeks left. Plenty of relationships start in the work place.

    It's generally only an issue if you break up and still have to work together. (I have been in that situation before). However, as you only have 5 weeks left, its very unlikely that that would happen.

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  • Yes it's wrong at the moment because they are in a position of power over you.

    It's also wrong to ask them out because you would be putting them in a very difficult position. You don't want to risk being accused of sexual harrassment and unprofessionalism in the workplace after all.

    When you leave, if you still feel the same, let them know respectfully that you'd love to meet up, but totally understand if they'd rather not.

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  • Elaine Francis

    I wonder if you already know the answer to this - but don't want to know it?

    As one of the commenters above says, yes - it's wrong to ask them out whilst you're still at the placement. Your mentor's in an important position of authority for you at the moment, which needs to be respected for ethical and professional reasons.

    I'd hope that your mentor is equally respectful of these boundaries - and would appreciate you waiting until you've completed the placement!

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  • Elaine Francis | 29-Mar-2014 10:52 pm

    absolutely agree otherwise there is the potential risk of putting one or both careers on the line or at least losing some credibility.
    it might be very hard, in a hospital setting, to keep such things private.

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  • from Anonymous | 30-Mar-2014 9:18 am

    to Elaine Francis | 29-Mar-2014 10:52 pm

    my apologies, I had intended to say that I agree with Elaine Francis... etc to reinforce your comment rather than address it directly to you.

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  • Totally Agree, just wait until you have finished the placement.

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  • Wait, wait and wait again. Consider this a research project. Is he in the habit of forming relationships with students(unprofessional)? have you mistaken his nursing skills-e,g empathy , good communication as a reflection of something else? Also working in the same field could make for a claustrophobic relationship and conflicting shift patterns inevitable!

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