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'Is it wrong to start a relationship with my mentor?'


Do you have any advice for this student nurse?

“My mentor and I got on from the second we met and although nothing has happened, I have very strong feelings and think they feel the same.

“We’re a similar age but I’m not sure where I stand morally if we started a relationship. I have 5 weeks left of the placement and hate to think that I won’t see them again.

“Is it wrong to ask them out?”



Please use the comments section below to share your advice


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Readers' comments (10)

  • Don't say or do anything until your last shift with them. Then if they say no it won't be awkward. Also, if you start anything before it may seem unprofessional and claims of bias in your assessment may arise.

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  • Personally I don't see the harm, especially as you only have 5 weeks left. Plenty of relationships start in the work place.

    It's generally only an issue if you break up and still have to work together. (I have been in that situation before). However, as you only have 5 weeks left, its very unlikely that that would happen.

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  • Yes it's wrong at the moment because they are in a position of power over you.

    It's also wrong to ask them out because you would be putting them in a very difficult position. You don't want to risk being accused of sexual harrassment and unprofessionalism in the workplace after all.

    When you leave, if you still feel the same, let them know respectfully that you'd love to meet up, but totally understand if they'd rather not.

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  • Elaine Francis

    I wonder if you already know the answer to this - but don't want to know it?

    As one of the commenters above says, yes - it's wrong to ask them out whilst you're still at the placement. Your mentor's in an important position of authority for you at the moment, which needs to be respected for ethical and professional reasons.

    I'd hope that your mentor is equally respectful of these boundaries - and would appreciate you waiting until you've completed the placement!

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  • Elaine Francis | 29-Mar-2014 10:52 pm

    absolutely agree otherwise there is the potential risk of putting one or both careers on the line or at least losing some credibility.
    it might be very hard, in a hospital setting, to keep such things private.

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  • from Anonymous | 30-Mar-2014 9:18 am

    to Elaine Francis | 29-Mar-2014 10:52 pm

    my apologies, I had intended to say that I agree with Elaine Francis... etc to reinforce your comment rather than address it directly to you.

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  • Totally Agree, just wait until you have finished the placement.

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  • Wait, wait and wait again. Consider this a research project. Is he in the habit of forming relationships with students(unprofessional)? have you mistaken his nursing skills-e,g empathy , good communication as a reflection of something else? Also working in the same field could make for a claustrophobic relationship and conflicting shift patterns inevitable!

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  • This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my love away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man Dr Nosa have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my love back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to meet with this man and have your love ones back to your life. His email:

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