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My classmate is too needy and I can't support her

  • 1 Comment

Can you advise this student nurse? 

I don’t know what to do about my classmate, who has become increasingly needy over the last year. When we first met we agreed to help one another out and while I am quite happily getting on with life, she’s becoming increasinly frazzled and turning to me for help, crying regularly and constantly getting down about life. She sometimes even gets me to write her work because it’s all too much for her. I don’t want to cut her loose, but I know this isn’t a healthy arrangement, especially for her. I tried talking to her but it made no difference. What should I do? 

  • 1 Comment

Readers' comments (1)

  • Have you suggested she talk to any services available at uni - personal tutor, study skills, mental health adviser? This level of dependency is very unhealthy as you quite rightly point out and is also unfair on yourself as you cannot carry her as well as doing your own studies. You could offer to support her along to a meeting or set a meeting up for the two of you with the campus advice service about essay writing and ease her in that way. If she then continues to rely heavily upon you, suggest she makes an appointment on her own for further support and try and be gentle but direct about the fact that you are not best placed to support her in this way. After all you are at the same level of training as she is, simply say that you are no better qualified than she is to write up her work and that you don't want to put either of you at a disadvantage or worse still, your training in jeopardy. Hope this is of some help, best of luck.

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